There are days where I like many others lay on my bed, stare up at the ceiling and choose to remember the past and the way that things used to be during a time when things were much simpler then they currently are at this point in time. I remember when I used to feign ignorance and chose to make excuses for the people around me, making excuses one after another for their behavior and the things that they used to say. I remember when I used to go out of my way to try and keep up failing friendships, wanting their attention and wanting nothing more than to try and keep their interest in me because in my mind at the time, losing a friend meant that there must be something wrong with me and not with that person in particular.
Now, I know that I am not a saint, I know that I am not perfect and I know that I have caused my fair share of pain during my time on this beautiful world to people who honestly did not deserve it and perhaps by being hurt, I was receiving punishment for the people that I have hurt but there came a point in time when I realized that this simply was not the case.
No, instead I was used for all that I could give and then I was tossed aside as though I no longer mattered once one had gotten what it was that they needed from me. I was a shoulder to cry on, a ear to listen. I was the one who made others feel better about themselves when no one else would dare to listen and once they took all the words, all of the support that I could give to them, I was tossed aside. Ignored. Forgotten as they met new people and moved on with their lives, only contacted once more when they needed something from me and yet still I wore a smile on my face and acted as though such a thing did not bother me and I went on with the hopes that things would be different only to have history once again repeat itself.
I will not allow that to happen again.
I have grown and as of now I know who the ones that care about my wellbeing are. I am no longer ignorant and will no longer be a pushover, nor will I be led astray by pretty words and petty promises any longer. I am not looking to start drama nor am I looking to cause any petty fights, but those of you who read this, those of you who know that I am referring to you in this post please know that I have no ill will towards you. As a matter of fact, I hope you all are very happy in the lives that you are leading and wish you all the very best in the future. This is being written for me, as a way to get the emotions that I am feeling off of my chest and also giving me the means to begin a new life once again.
I have new friends, I have people that I care very much about and by writing this, I feel as though maybe it will bring me the type of freedom that I have been craving for the longest time. I need to be able to trust them and be able to have fun with them as I once was able to and hopefully now, I will find the strength and the willpower to move on.
this is me in the top photo. the second photo is me last night.
my name is Heather, I am nineteen years old, broken hearted and broken. my boyfriend did this to me.
if you EVER notice abnormal jealousy or controlling issues with your “man” LEAVE HIM. THINGS WILL NOT GET BETTER WHEN HE DOESN’T KNOW HE’S SICK. i almost lost my fucking life last night to someone who claimed he loved me.
we were fighting. arguing. like any normal couple. until i tried running. i was dragged up the stairs by my hair. he started strangling me. so i suggested we take a break. when i said those words, something flipped inside of him.. the look in his kind eyes vanished and all i could see was anger and evilness. he then smashed a milk jug into my face repeatedly until my nose started gushing blood all over the bed. once he saw what he had done, he ran to the bathroom and was screaming ” WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO!!! OH MY GOD!!!! I’M SO SORRY!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!” etc. that was my final chance. i ran downstairs to phone 911 and request an ambulance RIGHT away. as soon as he heard me on the phone he started coming downstairs screaming “DON’T CALL ANYONE”
i have never been so fucking petrified in my life. and i’ve been to hell and back. as soon as i heard that, i ran outside into the snow banks wearing nothing on my bare feet, jogging pants, and a tank top. i luckily immediately saw two strangers walking across the street, dropped the phone in the snow and ran over to them screaming for help. all they could see was a face covered in tears and blood. one of them instantly pulled out their cell phone and explained the situation to 911. the other sat with my on a set of stairs holding me and comforting me until i flagged down a random black van. he backed up and gave me a ride to the hospital where i was rushed into emerg.
thankfully, i have no broken bones. i have two black eyes (one is verry swollen.) i have gashes all over my forehead and the hidden parts of my body. i have three sets of stitches. one under my eye, one on the bridge of my nose, and one on the palm of hand.
up until last night, i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. i wanted his children, i would do anything to keep him in my life. now i’m terrified of living my own life. i’m terrified of my reflection, i’m terrified of what he’s now going through, and i’m terrified of sleeping.
i wish i could have seen the signs.
please reblog, i think every young girl needs to see this.
This is Coy Mathis, a transgender 6 year old living in Colorado. It just so happens that my brother is in her class at Eagleside Elementary School in Fountain, Colorado. When I asked my brother how he felt about Coy he said, “She’s got really cool hair and we play on the slides at recess.” I asked what he thought about Coy’s decision to be a girl and he said, “She is a girl. She just got the wrong body on accident.” How is a 6 year old more understanding and accepting of her than many of the adults at Eagleside Elementary?
RUSSIA’S president, Vladimir V. Putin, has declared war on homosexuals. So far, the world has mostly been silent.
On July 3, Mr. Putin signed a law banning the adoption of Russian-born children not only to gay couples but also to any couple or single parent living in any country where marriage equality exists in any form.
A few days earlier, just six months before Russia hosts the 2014 Winter Games, Mr. Putin signed a lawallowing police officers to arrest tourists and foreign nationals they suspect of being homosexual, lesbian or “pro-gay” and detain them for up to 14 days. Contrary to what the International Olympic Committee says, the law could mean that any Olympic athlete, trainer, reporter, family member or fan who is gay — or suspected of being gay, or just accused of being gay — can go to jail.
Earlier in June, Mr. Putin signed yet another antigay bill, classifying “homosexual propaganda” as pornography. The law is broad and vague, so that any teacher who tells students that homosexuality is not evil, any parents who tell their child that homosexuality is normal, or anyone who makes pro-gay statements deemed accessible to someone underage is now subject to arrest and fines. Even a judge, lawyer or lawmaker cannot publicly argue for tolerance without the threat of punishment.
Finally, it is rumored that Mr. Putin is about to sign an edict that would remove children from their own families if the parents are either gay or lesbian or suspected of being gay or lesbian. The police would have the authority to remove children from adoptive homes as well as from their own biological parents.
Not surprisingly, some gay and lesbian families are already beginning to plan their escapes from Russia.
Why is Mr. Putin so determined to criminalize homosexuality? He has defended his actions by saying that the Russian birthrate is diminishing and that Russian families as a whole are in danger of decline. That may be. But if that is truly his concern, he should be embracing gay and lesbian couples who, in my world, are breeding like proverbial bunnies. These days I rarely meet a gay couple who aren’t raising children.
And if Mr. Putin thinks he is protecting heterosexual marriage by denying us the same unions, he hasn’t kept up with the research. Studies from San Diego State University compared homosexual civil unions and heterosexual marriages in Vermont and found that the same-sex relationships demonstrate higher levels of satisfaction, sexual fulfillment and happiness. (Vermont legalized same-sex marriages in 2009, after the study was completed.)
Mr. Putin also says that his adoption ban was enacted to protect children from pedophiles. Once again the research does not support the homophobic rhetoric. About 90 percent of pedophiles are heterosexual men.
Mr. Putin’s true motives lie elsewhere. Historically this kind of scapegoating is used by politicians to solidify their bases and draw attention away from their failing policies, and no doubt this is what’s happening in Russia. Counting on the natural backlash against the success of marriage equality around the world and recruiting support from conservative religious organizations, Mr. Putin has sallied forth into this battle, figuring that the only opposition he will face will come from the left, his favorite boogeyman.
Mr. Putin’s campaign against lesbian, gay and bisexual people is one of distraction, a strategy of demonizing a minority for political gain taken straight from the Nazi playbook. Can we allow this war against human rights to go unanswered? Although Mr. Putin may think he can control his creation, history proves he cannot: his condemnations are permission to commit violence against gays and lesbians. In May a young gay man was murdered in the city of Volgograd. He was beaten, his body violated with beer bottles, his clothing set on fire, his head crushed with a rock. This is most likely just the beginning.
Nevertheless, the rest of the world remains almost completely ignorant of Mr. Putin’s agenda. His adoption restrictions have received some attention, but it has been largely limited to people involved in international adoptions.
This must change. With Russia about to hold the Winter Games in Sochi, the country is open to pressure. American and world leaders must speak out against Mr. Putin’s attacks and the violence they foster. The Olympic Committee must demand the retraction of these laws under threat of boycott.
In 1936 the world attended the Olympics in Germany. Few participants said a word about Hitler’s campaign against the Jews. Supporters of that decision point proudly to the triumph of Jesse Owens, while I point with dread to the Holocaust and world war. There is a price for tolerating intolerance.
To any followers in Russia, I am so sorry you are being subjected to this.
To my followers elsewhere, sounds like Russia is NOT the place to visit for a while - be safe and avoid it if possible.
If Russia continues to behave this way, we’ll never be able to join the Federation.
If you are currently in Russia and would like to escape the country, please make the necessary arrangements and travel to the embassy of the country you would like to reside in and apply for asylum. Although many countries only allow asylum applications within their own country there are many that allow applications within their embassies or provide travel documents that will enable you to leave the country. Also be sure to research the laws and attitudes towards LGBTQ communities for each country before applying. If you are interested in traveling to the US, please read THIS INFO about applying for asylum, bringing your family over, as well as green card applications. There are also links for minors who wish to apply for asylum. To all of the tumblr users in Russia. Please stay safe. And stay on your guard. if you feel as though you are in danger and would like to leave the country immediately, get your passport, book a plane ticket now, and travel to these countries as soon as possible and apply for asylum at a point-of-entry/immigration services in the airport (Immigration officers should be able to assist you): USA Canada Netherlands England Scotland Germany Finland Switzerland Iceland Austria Japan Australia New Zealand
If anyone else is interested in updating this post with the proper asylum procedures for their own country, please add the necessary links so we can help as many people as possible in Russia who might be in immediate danger.